HOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T FEEL UNDERSTOOD?
We often get told to talk. To relate to others. To SHARE our experience. The hardest thing about the Struggle of the Mind , is that it often doesn’t FEEL shared. It doesn’t FEEL understood.
In that fear, we stand taut in wariness that if we transform our EXPERIENCE into WORDS, what we feel may be misunderstood. Oversimplified by the limits of the human language, or by the limitations of another’s own experience to truly KNOW this embodied perspective for themselves. That luxury is preserved for YOUR OWN perception alone. So we stoically resign to our solitude, to battle the war within.
There is no one-size-fits-all. Each individual’s experience speaks for itself. This is the complexity of mental health.
However, there are some circumstances where our thoughts around our suffering acts to isolate us. We put up walls to make us untouchable, where we become frozen in this belief that nobody else could possibly understand the immensity or uniqueness of our pain. Here, we win the battle of suffering, but we lose the war within. Yes, our experience is unique to us, but that does not mean our suffering cannot be shared. We may lose out on feeling heard, understood and a part of this shared human experience.
Sometimes we have to stop and ask ourselves, 'IS MY PAIN SO UNIQUE TO ME THAT NOBODY COULD POSSIBLY RELATE?" If we are to truly heal, we must accept that suffering in and of itself, is a part of being human and that the journey to healing need not always be so lonely. You may even find, that your pain is more shared than you have come to believe.
Categorising experiences into umbrella definitions of Mental Health Disorders doesn’t truly understand the individual as a whole (and this is coming from a Mental Health Doctor). But can we find solace in knowing that each of us is embracing a unique struggle, behind the social mask that delineates our duality. Behind the ‘straight face’ of a stranger lies a human struggle that is indeed shared, & likely beyond what words might express.
This is where the 'togetherness' lies. Not in the sharing or necessarily understanding the SAME experience. Not TRULY knowing ‘how you feel.’ But in battling the waters alongside one another, in standing shoulder-to-shoulder with our modern comrades.
It is boldly, and in union, grasping the complexity of the human struggle with both hands. Accepting it. Greeting it. Embracing it. Your experience is so uniquely yours. It’s the universal struggle that must be shared, with or without words.
Author: Dr Kassi Klein from BLOKES IN MIND
P.S If you would like more support - Dr Kassi Klein offers 1-on-1 Coaching.